With both students and online dating members, I often find myself scratching my head and wondering why in heaven's name they thought xyz was a good idea. Sometimes, I wish I could see into their heads. Of course, then I realize I'm glad I can't, because, well...I'm pretty sure I'd be scarred for life.
One day recently, as I was perusing profiles, I came across one of a 42 year old, never married, single man from here in the Denver area. His profile seemed decent enough, and he was extremely good looking. So of course, I started wondering...how is it that he is this good looking, and has never been married? Well, about halfway through his "About Me" section, I figured it out. He said, "If you're divorced, don't bother, because you don't know Jesus, so you won't know me." And my mouth fell open. I thought, "I think I just figured out why he's still single..." I shared the quote on my friend Kelly's FB wall, as she is also a member of Match, and the conversation that ensued was awesome. What a jerk! Now, I understand where he's coming from, theologically, I really do. I used to be firmly in the no-remarriage-after-divorce-under-any-circumstances camp, though I firmly abandoned that particular ideal years ago. I get that certain interpretations of Scripture won't allow for remarriage. But to automatically say that the divorced person doesn't know Jesus? That's nowhere in any Bible I have read. In fact, sometimes, a person is divorced against their will. Or even for the personal safety of their kids or themselves. It takes two to make a relationship work, but as I have learned- long before my own relationship issues- it only takes one to tear a relationship apart. One person changes significantly or changes their mind, and there's nothing the other person can do about it. If someone is going to walk away, they're going to walk away. To then say that if you're divorced you don't know Jesus is an asshole move of the first degree. Seriously, dude. And then to say, "You don't know Jesus, so you won't know me"?! Woah. That is some serious pretention. I mean, okay, I get it if divorce is a deal breaker for you. I really do get it, and that's fine. But then to put it out there that you are SO much of a good Christian that if someone is divorced they won't be able to know you because they don't know Jesus? I could throw out a ton of Bible verses, but the most significant one that comes to mind is Micah 6:8b which says, "What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Last I checked, that kind of attitude doesn't fit with any kind of humility. So I happily moved on from that profile, to say the least.
I could tell stories of other old guys hitting on me, but I covered that pretty well in the first installment, so I think I'll skip that one. On February 11th, I went to another mixer. I almost didn't go to this one, because it started 30 minutes before I even got off of work, and I was tired, and got there an hour and 20 minutes late. But I went in, and the ice breaker question for this one was, "What is the best gift you ever got?" I had to think for a minute, but I went with the elliptical my parents got me a couple Christmases ago. As soon as I put my name tag on and walked into the group, I saw Oscar, from a couple weeks ago. So I walked up behind him, and said to the girl he was talking to, "Is he bothering you? I know he can be SUCH a pain." He said hey and laughed, and the girl played along. It was kinda hilarious. So the girl kept talking to Oscar's friend (apparently, they always go to these things together), and Oscar started talking to me. His name tag said, "Nothing." When I asked him if that meant no one ever gave him anything good, he said he meant it in the Buddhist, "zen" kind of way. Just sitting, doing nothing, and breathing it all in. I said I should have known. We talked for a few minutes, then I moved on.
As I ordered a drink from the bar (I was drinking Coke that night...yes, I'm boring), I saw a very tall guy standing there awkwardly, holding a beer, and I couldn't see his name tag. He was wearing a Broncos hat, so I said to him, "You're a Broncos fan? So I take it you've been in a good mood all week..." We started talking about football- the Broncos, the Panthers, the Bengals, and the Steelers. About Super Bowls and quarterbacks, predictions and their results, head coaches and other coaches. I really shocked myself, because I realized after a while that I had actually carried on a 20 minute conversation about football...and it actually sounded like I knew what I was talking about. I mean, I've been able to do that with baseball my whole life. But never football. I guess I've finally accumulated enough knowledge to have a semi-intelligent conversation about the sport. Who knew? We moved on to talk about other things for a while, and kinda hit it off. He finally left, and said he wanted to talk to me some more. After I got home, he sent me a message, and we've spent the last few days chatting. Whether or not anything pans out there (though there is definitely mutual interest), it's at least been a big confidence booster.
Once Broncos guy left, I started talking to another guy I had overheard tell someone he was a biologist, teaching high school. So I asked him about it, and he said he specialized in human anatomy and physiology, and proceeded to tell me about his thesis, which was all about the mechanics of how eating leafy green vegetables can lower your blood pressure. I was actually fascinated, but I'll just give you all this nugget of advice: eat lots of leafy green vegetables, and don't brush your teeth for several hours after. Don't use mouth wash either. The magic happens in the organic compounds left behind in your mouth, and what your saliva does to them, and then later deposits into your bloodstream. Anyway, biology guy and I talked for a while, and he said he taught online. So we then swapped horror stories of teaching online, which was fun. Turned out, he was also a competitive swimmer, which I was as well, so we chatted about that as well. I finally left, and nothing came of that conversation, which I didn't really expect anyway, but it was good practice, and again, a good confidence booster.
The last few days have consisted mostly of chatting with Broncos guy, and some texting back and forth with a guy from the mixer a few weeks back. I'm in a good place with all of this. Every time I talk to a guy, go to a mixer, etc., I don't even think about him. I thought I'd always be comparing everyone to him. But I'm not. And it feels really, really good. I'm excited to keep moving forward, and seeing what the future has in store for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment