Wednesday, the day before the wedding...WHAT. I can't even wrap my head around it. We're getting married tomorrow.
Andy had to work today, so Leslie, Ryan, and I went and had dinner, then went to an awesome macaron place in Highlands Ranch, Honey B's. We each picked out the macarons we wanted, and then went to scout picture locations for our engagement photos, which we took today. Cause, I mean, everyone does their engagement photos the day before the wedding, right? We were going to try and do them in Parker, but there really weren't any places to do it, so that was a bust.
We went grocery shopping for a few things we needed for tonight, and then we went home for a nap. Andy got home for work, and we left right away for our pictures downtown, since Parker didn't work. In an hour, we managed to do Union Station, Starbucks, and the Blake Street Vault, where we met. Leslie took some awesome photos, and I can't wait to share them.
About 7:45, we arrived home, and I opened the door from the garage into the house, and immediately shut it again. The house was full of people, mostly Andy's family. And I suddenly realized how terrified I was. Not terrified to marry Andy. I'm thrilled by that, and I can't wait. It doesn't scare me at all. But joining this whole other family scares me to death. I'm the first person to join the family in over a decade. It's well established.
Then there's me, coming in to join. I don't really know them that well. Andy is the youngest, and he's middle aged. It's scary, coming into a new family. Talk about having to be Dauntless. I love and trust Andy enough not to freak out too much about it. But maybe coming from such a broken family, into one that is intact- flawed, yes, but still intact- is what is so scary. Maybe I don't know how to "do" intact family. What does that entail? Family no longer means to me what it used to, and it doesn't mean to me what it means to most others. Just because someone is family, doesn't mean you never let them go. Sometimes, you have to. Sometimes, that's the only way to be whole. So maybe coming into an intact family is frightening because I don't know what that entails. I don't even really know what it means.
I'm willing to learn, and with Andy by my side, I guess I'll be okay.
Andy had to work today, so Leslie, Ryan, and I went and had dinner, then went to an awesome macaron place in Highlands Ranch, Honey B's. We each picked out the macarons we wanted, and then went to scout picture locations for our engagement photos, which we took today. Cause, I mean, everyone does their engagement photos the day before the wedding, right? We were going to try and do them in Parker, but there really weren't any places to do it, so that was a bust.
We went grocery shopping for a few things we needed for tonight, and then we went home for a nap. Andy got home for work, and we left right away for our pictures downtown, since Parker didn't work. In an hour, we managed to do Union Station, Starbucks, and the Blake Street Vault, where we met. Leslie took some awesome photos, and I can't wait to share them.
About 7:45, we arrived home, and I opened the door from the garage into the house, and immediately shut it again. The house was full of people, mostly Andy's family. And I suddenly realized how terrified I was. Not terrified to marry Andy. I'm thrilled by that, and I can't wait. It doesn't scare me at all. But joining this whole other family scares me to death. I'm the first person to join the family in over a decade. It's well established.
Then there's me, coming in to join. I don't really know them that well. Andy is the youngest, and he's middle aged. It's scary, coming into a new family. Talk about having to be Dauntless. I love and trust Andy enough not to freak out too much about it. But maybe coming from such a broken family, into one that is intact- flawed, yes, but still intact- is what is so scary. Maybe I don't know how to "do" intact family. What does that entail? Family no longer means to me what it used to, and it doesn't mean to me what it means to most others. Just because someone is family, doesn't mean you never let them go. Sometimes, you have to. Sometimes, that's the only way to be whole. So maybe coming into an intact family is frightening because I don't know what that entails. I don't even really know what it means.
I'm willing to learn, and with Andy by my side, I guess I'll be okay.
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